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The World by cows
this page shows the way we
live using the example of cows
Feudalism
you have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk
Fascism
you have two cows.
The government takes them both,
hires you to take care of them,
and sells you the milk
Totalitarianism
you have two cows.
The government takes them and denies they ever exsisted.
milk is banned
Pure socialism
you have two cows.
You neihbours help you take care of them,
and then you share all the milk
Dictatorship
you have two cows.
The government takes them both and shoots you
Nigerian Democracy
you have two cows.
The government takes both,
Shoots you and sends the cows to Zurich
Militarism
you have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you
Capitalism
you have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
The market collapses and the bank owns your farm
Surrealism
you have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
Political Correctness
you are assocated with
(the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phalloocentric, warmongering, intolerant past)
two differently aged(but no less valuble to society)
bovines of non-specified gender
Counterculture
Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man,
you have got to have some of this milk
Singaporean Democracy
you have two cows.
The government fines you for keeping unlicenced farm animals
Pure Democracy
you have two cows.
Your neighbours decide who gets the milk
Representative Democracy
you have two cows.
Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk
American DemocracyThe government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it.
After the election, the President is impeached for speculating over cow futures.
The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
The cow sues you for breach of contract
British Democracy
you have two cows.
You feed them sheeps brains and they go mad.
The government denies nothing
European Democracy
you have two cows.
At first the government regulate what you can feed them and when you can milk them.
Then it pays you not to milk them.
After that, it takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other and pours the milk down the drain.
Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows
Hong Kong Captialsim
you have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general officer so that you will get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows
The milk rights of six cows are transfered via a Panamainan intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly
owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company.
The annual report says that the comapny owns eight cows, with an otion on one more.
Meanwhile, you kill the